I was inspired to share this post by the Music City Nashville talk by Faye Thompson and Charles Husemann. It was entitled: Coaching Katas - In Search of The Answer to the Agile Kobayashi Maru.
Essentially it was a series of coaching scenarios where we run thru Coaching Kata’s (very similar to Dojo’s as I’ve shared on them before). The scenarios were inspired by Star Trek episodes (original Star Trek I might add). In it, they emphasized using the 7-questions from The Coaching Habit book by Michael Bungay Stanier. I thought it was a really creative and useful talk. Faye and Charles did a great job of facilitating great discovery on the part of the attendees.
As we debriefed each of the scenarios, I heard attendees really struggling to apply the 7-questions effectively as part of a “normal” conversation.
It made me think that:
7-questions (from the Coaching Habit)
Powerful questions (from Co-Active Coaching)
Other question-based coaching models
Can set you up for failure if you don’t use them thoughtfully and sparingly within the ARC of an overarching conversation model/framework. And they shouldn’t be used sequentially or artificially. They are also only applicable to the coaching stance/role and not really relevant in teaching, mentoring, or modeling stances/roles?
Please reference this article for a 9-Roles model for coaching.
The ARC of a Coaching Conversation
I think a much better way to approach a coaching conversation would be:
1) First, determine - Why are we having it. What are the key factors? Make sure we’re focused and not simply rambling. Why includes priority and driving forces. For example, is this an urgently needed, emergency conversation or the next in an ongoing series of conversations? And is this part of your role and responsibilities or a challenging peer-to-peer chat?
2) Next, determine - What shared outcome are we endeavoring to create with our coaching partner? Again, narrow it down. Don’t have it be multi-focused or too complex. Have a singular outcome in mind. Remember – this is your goal. But once you get into the conversation, you’ll want to co-create the goal.
3) Now consider - What should the ARC of the conversation look like? Using a chess metaphor, what are your opening moves, middle game, and endgame? Before you think of specific questions to ask, consider the context (for example is it an emotional situation, confrontational situation?). If it is, you’ll want to enter more carefully with an open-ended inquiry.
4) And finally, consider – How you close on shared outcomes? Decide on how you wish to exit the conversation. What might be the possible next steps or agreements that you exit with? Do you think the conversation can be closed at the end or will it probably become a series of conversations? Prepare for that.
NOW…
Only once you have the above figured out the above and planned the ARC, should you start thinking of and asking your questions.
Be Prepared to Switch Stances
It’s also important not to get stuck in your coaching stance, just asking lots of questions.
You need to have (or build up) an active Spider-Sense so that you can feel your way through the conversation. My experience is that most ARC’s usually have about 2-3 shifts within them. For example –
I usually enter the conversation as a Coach. Asking some open-ended questions as part of my “opening moves” in the conversation. Then actively listening and engaging.
Usually I find a switch is necessary. Quite often, I move to teaching, mentoring, or modeling as the next shift in my stance.
Then, as part of my “endgame” in the conversation, I’ll switch back to a coaching stance to close out the conversation and plan for any next steps.
And I want to point out the importance of always modeling. This is the “walking our talk” stance and I’ve found it can be quite powerful. It can also be used in conjunction with other stances.
For example, when you’re in a coaching stance you can also be modeling active listening skills as part of your stance. Showing what active listening really looks and feels like.
Wrapping Up
But the point is, in the end, someone we are coaching should not feel like they’re in a game of 20-Questions. Or over-asking the 5-Why’s for that matter.
If you’re an agile coach (practitioner, internal coach, external coach, Scrum Master, or otherwise influencer and change agent), then…
I think we need to be really careful with our use of questions. Particularly when we’re coaching UP to leaders and stakeholders.
Just having powerful questions in your toolbox is one of the fastest ways I know of being shown the door. And that doesn’t help you, them, or anyone.
You have to be much more skilled and nuanced in your coaching. And that starts with your ARC of every conversation.
Stay agile my friends,
Bob.