I’ve been involved in agile for ~20 years and I’ve noticed a consistent anti-pattern that never seems to change.
People wait too long to ask for help!
I’ve noticed it in my coaching. By the time I usually get called into a situation where an organization is attempting to implement agile is, dare I say it, things are off the rails. Sure, a part of me thinks that’s a good or normal thing. But that’s the revenue generation part of me.
The principled agile coach part of me always wishes that they had reached out earlier. That it would have saved so much aggravation and frustration, wasted time & effort, and ultimately cost.
But it’s not just as a coach. It also applies to my leadership experience too.
If a project was off-track or a commitment would be missed, I usually found out at the last minute. Far later than when I could have actually helped or done something. I always work hard as a leader to create safety for bad news, to be approachable, and to be grateful for it. Very hard. But it still shocked me how often folks wait too long to share something with me. I often wonder, what did I have to do to create the culture where sharing challenges was rewarded, was the norm, and not feared?
It even applies to my coaching and agile colleagues in the various agile communities I’m a part of. I often liken myself to a “coach of coaches” and I am. But again, nearly 100% of the time folks wait too long to reach out to me for help.
I normally don’t say anything directly to them because it’s too late for that. But I often think to myself that outcomes could be significantly different if they had only come to me sooner. My coaching, or anyone’s coaching, could have saved them so much frustration and aggravation while avoiding costly mistakes.
You get the point. Before we explore it further though, I want to share one of my favorite metaphors around it…
Watermelon Status
I can’t remember the first time I heard this but I love the notion of watermelon status.
That is a project that is green on the outside (being reported as being on-track, fine) and red on the inside (off the rails, behind schedule, over budget).
Once I heard it, it resonated with EVERY project I’d ever experienced as a leader. 90% of the time, members of my organization were reporting watermelon status.
And you ONLY find out that’s it’s red at the very last minute. At the point, as a leader, where you have to fewest options to help or do anything about it.
Possible Reasons
Switching gears, I put on my brainstorming hat and tried to think of all of the reasons that one might not want to ask for help—
Optimism – Hopefulness
Fear…
Of failure, of ramifications, of looking bad, of job loss, or of demotion
Cluelessness
Ownership - It’s my job
Apathy
Fixer, it’s my challenge…
Lack of…
Skill, knowledge, experience, safety, or courage
Hubris or Stubbornness
Tight budgets
Shyness
Not wanting to “bother” someone
Accountability or Responsibility
Searching for a new job
Saboteur
Are some that came to mind. But I’m sure there are others and I’m hoping readers will include them in the comments.
Some of them are related to our internal views or historical baggage and others more dependent on our current culture. Regardless, I wanted to illustrate a wide spectrum of reasons and that I realize this topic is complex and nuanced.
I want to shift the discussion to a set of five hard-earned lessons I’ve learned in this area. I hope you can take them away and that they might serve as encouragement for you to find more help—
Time doesn’t typically improve things…
One of my lessons learned across my entire career is that when you are facing a challenge—
Customer challenge;
Personnel challenge;
Project challenge;
Personal challenge;
Leadership challenge;
Nearly any challenge…
Waiting doesn’t seem to help. It typically makes things worse. Much worse!
Lesson: don’t wait too long to ask for help. Do it now!
How you start is critical
The start of any venture is critical. It’s where your strategy is defined. It’s where you’re why and goals are established. If there’s a better time to ask for help, it’s at the beginning of an endeavor. And the more important the endeavor (in scope, value, impact, etc.) the more critical it is to ask for help at the beginning.
Lesson: anything worth doing, especially critical initiatives, is worth starting right. Begin with the end in mind.
Too much hope and hubris…
Hope is not a strategy and the world has too much hubris in it. Both of these get in the way of asking for help. You have to look beyond yourself at the impact the challenge will have on others. In other words, realize that it’s not about you. It’s about your team or your entire organization.
I’ve found that reminding myself of the scope and impact of a challenge (beyond myself) can serve to motivate me to ask/find help. To show more vulnerability.
Lesson: look beyond yourself and the obstacle and the impact it will have (if improperly handled) on your broader universe. From that perspective, then ask yourself if you need help…
The higher you are, the harder it seems…
I’ve also noticed that the more organizational height you achieve (promotions, levels, titles, etc.) the harder it seems it is to ask for help. And not only of external consultants/coaches like me, but for someone internally to help you as well.
Lesson: no matter your title, we all need help, so ask. It’s actually a sign of strength, not weakness and it grows your organization…
Budget always seems to be a challenge…
We can’t afford it. I don’t have the budget for it. If I ask them, they’ll charge me. Many leaders lack the courage to challenge the status quo when it comes to constraints. I would argue that there’s usually more empowerment and flexibility within organizations to spend money for critical initiatives or to solve critical problems. It just takes some to step up and ask for it—to ask for help.
Lesson: you can’t afford not to pay for help. Ask yourself what is the cost of failing to do what I’m failing at? From that perspective, it’s often cheaper to ask for help…
Wrapping Up
When in doubt…Ask for help!
I want to ask everyone who is reading this for help.
Please reflect on the article and how it resonates with your personal and professional journey. Then, if you would, please share comments that complement the article.
I’d love to hear different stories, perspectives, and reactions.
Stay agile my friends,
Bob.
Postscript
There’s a point in this Richard Sheridan video where he explores truth-telling in his projects. I think it aligns quite nicely with this posts’ theme…
Also, I first wrote about asking for help in this 2012 article. I’m wondering if much has changed since then, so perhaps you’ll want to read it as well?
Finally, I’m sharing this survey on the State of Help in today’s agile cultures. Please consider giving us your feedback. It’s quite short - https://forms.gle/QisYkFWW3VtkJFn88