I saw this post the other day from Geoff Watts exploring 20 Polite Ways to Say No and it struck a chord with me. Blog link – https://www.inspectandadapt.com/blog/20-polite-ways-to-say-no
Not that it was a bad article. It isn’t. Or that I disagreed with the many approaches to couch ‘No’ in a kind, soft, dare I say, polite, way. I don’t.
Basically, he provided an option to the ubiquitous “Yes, and…” that I hear so often in the agile community. It’s a “Yes, if…”. Here’s how Geoff explains it--
An alternative to "no" (and you might notice this a few times in the list above) is "Yes, if..."
Responding with "Yes, if..." can appear more positive, collaborative, and less confrontational. That doesn't necessarily make it better though. By opening yourself up to negotiation, there is still a good chance that you will take on more and more (and people may then start playing negotiation games!) so make sure the "if..." is enough.
My Concern
I guess my concern is why not simply say…No? Or, lead with a definitive and clear No, and then explain the rationale behind it?