To say that I’m a Kim Scott fan is an understatement. I’m truly in love with her work around Radical Candor and her blogging in clarifying and providing stories of RC in action.
She recently published an article entitled—The Emotional Labor of Being the Boss. It was a story around her learnings of the importance of establishing relationships as a leader/boss. The topic was outside the bounds of what she typically shares, but it resonated with me just as strongly.
To give you a sense of it, here’s a snippet—
“Is my job to build a great company,” I asked, “or am I really just some sort of emotional babysitter?”
Leslie, a fiercely opinionated ex-Microsoft executive, could barely contain herself. “This is not babysitting,” she said. “It’s called management, and it is your job!”
Now, every time I feel I have something more “important” to do than listen to people, I remember Leslie’s words: “It is your job!” I’ve used her line on dozens of new managers who’ve come to me after a few weeks in their new role, moaning that they feel like “babysitters” or “shrinks.” We undervalue the emotional labor of being the boss. But this emotional labor is not just part of the job; it’s the key to being a good boss.
Call it emotional labor, relationship building, bringing your whole self to work, or one of my latest notions—Culture-Shaping, I wholeheartedly agree with Kim. So many new, and seasoned leaders as well, consider the soft stuff to be the hard stuff and they shy away from it.
They convince themselves that it’s not important. Focusing more on tactical steps, problem-solving, and fire-fighting. Things that, on the surface, appear to be important, but are usually short-term focused and tactical in nature.
What it might look like?
Emotional labor is more of a strategic play, long term in nature, and leads to systemic change. I could see showing up with—
Kindness
Humility
Gratefulness
Great listening
Empathy
Presence
Understanding
Observation
Reflection
As indicative of the tools you’ll be using for your emotional labor.
Wrapping Up
Yes, I’m a Kim Scott fan. I’d encourage you to engage with her thinking in, around, and beyond Radical Candor.
Here’s another version of the article that she posted on her RC blog. And here’s a wonderful treatment of the notion of emotional labor.
Stay agile my friends,
Bob.